Confusion, confusion and confusion.
I really hate it when I get so deep into something because it's hard for me to get out of it. I'm confused and I can't help it even though I know exactly what I'm confused about. I'm just too chicken to face it...It's easy to think, to say than to do.
I always say to myself, if I can pick it up, I can put it down. But it will take me a lot of energy to actually be able to put it down. It's just a matter of time when I don't know where to go anymore or when I'm totally out of energy to maintain it.
The deeper you go down, the harder you'll be able to climb up...It will take quite awhile.
They say to maintain a relationship, it requires lots of communication. I have done a lot to the point that I'm tired of talking anymore...Maybe, it's not meant to be because sometimes, some of us are meant to be alone even though you really want to be with someone. I'm just so tired, really tired. I feel like I have lost track of myself. I have lost my ability to express myself...Because I'm so sick of talking about the same thing over and over again. If the person doesn't take your words for it, then there's no more point.
I don't force people to do things they don't want to do. I don't do the things I don't like people do to me. One thing I've learned that, if someone cares about how you feel, they would never do anything to upset you or make you cry even though it'll be a little self sacrificed. If the other person thinks that if a little self sacrifice makes him feel trapped, then I don't think the relationship will ever last long. Relationship is a 2 ways thing. Once it's out of balance, the relationship is no more. Once in awhile there will be mistake made, but to the point the other person feel useless toward something she should confront to another...she has lost herself...
I have lost myself...give me a wake up call. Me.