Thursday, July 25, 2013

My confession...

Eating in a restaurant together yet it feels as if you would rather eating by yourself instead. I used to say, the scariest thing to be with someone is when you lay beside the person and you still feel lonely. Love comes with laughter and always ends with tears. It happens. That's life, and you can't never change it. You can't expect everything to be perfect in your own term. You try to keep up with the other person but you can't because your strength is limited. You're tired and you don't know when you will lose it. It's just a matter of time.

6:21, emotional breakdown. Haven't been able to sleep for the whole night. Fighting, every time, there's fight, it has always been your fault. I guess, it's my fault from the very start.

I, who always think that I would never write such contents like this, complain about relationship.
I, a person who always breaks promise to myself deserve nothing better but worse. I don't know when I'll be a little more responsible about myself.
I, a person who thinks she has everything under control, but it's just a lie. She lies to herself a lot actually.
I, a person who hides under the facade, always end up alone...
Actually, loneliness is my friend. I am a loner ever since I was born.

Thank you for the life 

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Is there really afterlife?

There are moments in life when you never think of they will happen and they actually happen (totally off topic).

In these days, I suddenly think about life and death. I feel that if we can control our brains we will be supernatural. The brain of a human is quite powerful.
I have so many questions in my mind. I wonder if we die, do we go to the "afterlife"? Is there a different world beside this? I keep asking those questions to myself. I wish I could witness both but how could I?

I sometimes think of a crazy idea which I would be put to sleep like dead for a period of time so that I could travel to the afterlife where there were others who had already gone way too long from this human world.

I'm right now reading the book "Proof Of Heaven" from Dr. Eben Alexander. He wrote it after he came back from his nearly death situation. The book got right at first time when I stared at it and started to read the summary on the back of the book. In my mind, I said that I had to get the book because I wanted to know how the world there would be. I'm still in doubt. I have to finish the book then I can pass my judgement.

I start my new diary blog again. I have thought that I should get over my old personal blog because it have had so many of my writing that didn't go anywhere. I mean, as person like I am, I don't keep things too long. I get bored quickly and always find something new to do.

Anyway, it's 1:41 Am July 23rd, 2013 Vancouver time. I have to go to sleep soon Q_Q my eyes are closing ;)